PEACHES AND BITCHES. HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.

Have you watched beautiful, yet really vile women snarling, bitching and tearing one another apart?

Wouldn’t this scenario be smashing?

HONG KONG’s prime TV STATION, TVB excels as a master of reinvention.

Learn a lesson, dear silly billy competitors in ASIA who are ever-so-ready to jump on any bandwagon.

The creative content and marketing people in TVB are a formidable team, doing a great job at pushing their programs up to the fore.

As far as home entertainment is concerned for the CHINESE community all over the world, there’s nothing like a TVB drama series.

Nothing comes close.

They are adept at eleventh hour 360 degree turns, anytime, as soon as they sense that their prime time audiences are seemingly bored ….

It’s little wonder that HONG KONG is the HOLLYWOOD OF THE EAST.

Nope, you just cannot always churn out the usual bubble-gum idol drama fare,

not season after season,

Dipping ratings will account for dwindling advertising spending as well ….

These days, audiences may appear easy,

but they are equaling demanding and very discerning.

More so, the advertising clients.

You’d need them both for a successful business module.

Every advertiser wants a quick bang for their bucks.

So the current flavor of the season offers peaches and bitches, pretty-but-scheming damsels all in a row.

Welcome to the devilish stares and snorting aplenty…

All the gorgeous actresses who are playing “bitches” need to undergo dramatic highlights on make-up over their eyelids and squinting their eyeballs sideways to emphasize that ” don’t-mess-with-me evil glare” in key scenes.

The actors are but second fiddle here …

It is a woman-dominated series, mind you.

A case in point would be the refreshingly successful drama series BEYOND THE REALM OF THE CONSCIENCE (period drama extolling scheming palace shrews) and THE BEAUTY OF THE GAME (modern fare that points out that even your two-timing best friends can backstab you in this competitive game called FAME).

With ice-cool pretensions aplenty, the principal subject is WOMEN positioned as either as PEACHES or LIMES, metaphorically.

Women may be liken to ovens exuding electrifying heat waves.

They can also be HOT but OH-SO-SCHEMING.

They may stir the male libido.

Yet, please remember:

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.

You may love beautiful women or PEACHES,

PEACHES are ever so sweet and succulent.

Or shall we say, yummy?

But do you relish LIMES or scheming shrews?

Guess not.

LIMES are ghastly sourish

and leave behind a sharp acidic aftertaste …..

Stay braced, folks.

Let’s see which rival station in ASIA is going to jump on the bandwagon first,

After all, there are always loads of copy-cats around.

‘Tis the season when the prime time audiences are bored and are looking for a new angling on TV entertainment.

Throw in a sultry plot, lots of beautiful bitches spitting venom and spite.

And you have a saleable product at hand.

Now, did I hear that stunning female model out there screaming at someone, “DON’T YOU FUCK AROUND WITH ME!”

Awwwwhhh ……..

ACTORS. A TIME FOR REFLECTION. A TIME FOR THE GREAT CALM.

So you are an ACTOR and you have your set of problems too?

Don’t we all?

LIFE HAS IT HARD KNOCKS,

We face these from time to time.

What would you do when you find that your entire emotional world collapses around you, and that you are left alone to fend for yourself ….

that you have fallen from your pedestal ….

that producers and directors are eluding you ….

and that fortune and fans are out of your grasp?

You cannot hang on to glory and fame forever,

Every dog has its day,

you have come to realize this now …

Where’s your “icy cool facade” you once adopted?

It’s not going to be easy, but you are this ACTOR, and you must play your card well.

Pride and anguish, you must embrace in one stride.

You are in the acting profession, all the world is a stage and all men and women are merely players.

Everyone has his own exits and entrances.

Whatever it is, you must find always, a time for the great “calm”, a time to reinvent, maybe to improve your acting skills.

There should be a time for reflection, to look back with few regrets, to change positively, and then move on.

FRANCIS BACON described it aptly when he wrote:

“Little do men perceive what solitude is,

and how far it extendeth.

For a crowd is not company,

and faces are but a gallery of pictures,

and talk but a tinkling cymbal,

where there is no love.”

Chill, but take note, chum.

" WHAT'S UP, PUSSY CAT? " SEX? I am WOMAN. Hear me PURR ...."

ARE YOU A MALE CHAVENIST?

Do you subscribe to the belief that WOMEN ARE SUBSERVIENT TO MEN?

TIMES have evolved

THINGS have changed.

A woman's self-worth is as important as a man's,

Her bark can be worse than her bite -

Check this out.

These days WOMEN are jolly good if not better ..

Bless their demand for equal rights ...

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.

" I AM WOMAN ...HEAR ME ROAR! "

Ahhh .....

Here's this SEXIST JOKE ..

And this one is from the WOMAN :

MARCUS woke up one morning with this huge uncontrollable erection.

He was hard and horny, and his wife was not by his side in bed.

She was already up and in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

MARCUS was "itching" all over with extreme desire.

So he despatched his son to his wife with this note:

MY TENT POLE IS UP,

THE CANVAS IS SPREAD,

TO HELL WITH BREAKFAST,

NOW COME BACK TO BED!

The wife answered the note and sent it back by the son. This is what it said:

TAKE YOUR TENT POLE DOWN,

PUT THE CANVAS AWAY,

THE MONKEY IS BLEEDING TODAY, ARHH ....

SO NO CIRCUS TODAY!

MARCUS was perplexed with his hard-on, so he sent another note:

BUT THIS TENT POLE IS STILL UP,

AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREADS,

SO DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING,

HONEY - COME AND GIVE ME SOME HEAD!

To which the wife replied:

I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE

IS THE BEST IN THE LAND,

BUT I'M TOO BUSY RIGHT NOW -

SO DO IT BY HAND !!

So you want a sexy time?

Understand the woman better.

Ignorance isn't all bliss.

WOMEN CAN BE CHERRIES THAT CAN MAKE LEMONS TASTE SWEET.

That is, if you know where to set the parameters,

And what to do to stay under the radar .....

DO YOU, HONESTLY?

VIVIAN HSU, SEXY ACTRESS. Waif-like Innocence and Naivete personified.

SURPRISE. SURPRISE.

Guess who's the reigning queen of Sex Appeal in Asian Cyberspace?

It's VIVIAN HSU.

Miss popular perennial sex pot HSU QI does not even comes close, in terms of votes.

IF LOOKS CAN BELIE, then the face of VIVIAN HSU tells a thousand tales.

Her sweet, angelic face and doleful eyes certainly reek disarming innocence.

She is the kind you'd want to shield from being engulfed by this dangerous show business arena.

If you follow entertainment gossip closely, then you'd know that the celluloid world is very much like the naughty Hollywood series SEX AND THE CITY.

Of course sex sells, and maybe we should take a cue from EDISON CHEN who taught us on how to perform diabolical sex to silly aspiring nymphets.

Now back to VIVIAN who is cool, stoic, street-smart and is anything but her "child-like" demeanor

She is also one incredibly sexy woman, and oozes immnese appeal, has substance over form and a "please help me" pixie look that can get any awestruck guy all hot and heavy.

VIVIAN is likened to the 60s French sex kitten called BRIGITTE BARDOT who "purrs" pure sex at all times.

Most sexy sirens are positioned as the "come-hither" type - bitchy and forgettable, but VIVIAN has a virginal sweetie pie face and a voluptuous body.

That's what makes VIVIAN so special.

And VIVIAN is Taiwan's sultry export to the fickle world of sexism and fickle entertainment.

She is hugely popular in JAPAN and KOREA, where she is attaining A-lister STAR immunity by now.

So are you man enough or.... can VIVIAN wet up your sexual appetite with a little bit of wild and frenzied imagination?

You can't deny it's great for an uplifting sex life, a la tantric sex.

Here's how JAY O'TOOLE sums up sex appeal:

"We know how fickle bodies are,

Attraction will be gone,

We hope to some day be a STAR

but end up known by none.

How sad that sex appeal's so thin

The beauty that we hoped to win,

Now sings another's song!"

VIVIAN was discovered in 1990 when she won a talent contest in Taipei. Immediately after, she was contracted as one of the trio in a female band called SHAO NU DUI or PRETTY GIRLS BAND. Unfortunately this "PRETTY" band did not see the light of day, and suffered a sad fate.

Smart VIVIAN went on to "take the short cut route" by doing a sensual nude photo album called ANGEL HEART in 1995, and was soon awarded with 2 movie offers for artistic soft porns.

One was called NAUGHTY ANGEL and the other - ANGEL HEART, a la Lolita genre.

The nude albums and flicks brought her instant stardom, much to her relief and spurred her to do 2 more nude photo albums, this time called VENUS and DEVIL ANGEL in 1996.

JAPAN took notice of her nubile beauty and dare-to-bare artistry and encouraged by the unwavering support of the Japanese, she decided to sing again.

She released a hit single simultaneously in JAPAN and TAIWAN in 1995. Results were amazingly successful.

VIVIAN HSU finally achieved her dream to release her solo CD album called ANGEL DREAMING in 1996. She also recorded the KOREAN VERSION of this album after only 2 weeks of crash learning of the KOREAN language. Such was the experimental side of VIVIAN.

She made JAPAN her base in 2001/2 where she was a regular host and guest of JAPANESE VARIETY PROGRAMS. She even formed a JAPANESE BAND then.

In 2003 she flew back to TAIWAN and continued working there after achieving break-through fame in JAPAN and KOREA.

She has another latent talent - lyrics writing.

She has written for JAY CHOU and LEE HOM, to name a few.

Her star is on the rise year by year, specially so in KOREA and JAPAN.

In native TAIWAN, she is respected as an established artiste, but the adulation is never the same.

As you can see, everything is always "angel" about VIVIAN HSU.

It's the word that garners fame for her for more than one decade.

And that's a pretty long time by now.

Now, with an angelic face to die for as in VIVIAN's, how can one possibly go wrong?

This is evident in her constant demand of appearing in KOREAN soaps and films and product endorsements.

VIVIAN HSU. Waif-like innocence and naivete personified.

REALITY FACTOR. Let's face it , LIFE can get pretty FUCKED UP.

ARRGHH .......

Oh, FUCK !!

HERE ARE SOME NAKED TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE AND LIVING.

Are you suffering from a bad bout of "fucked up" blues?

Do you feel the urge to scream out loud at the top of your lungs?

When you're swarmed with plunderous parasites swimming all around you, things can certainly look pretty grim, chum.

Well, there's a stark difference between the word "fuck" and the term "fucked up".

"FUCK" is one dirty word everyone knows.

It glares at you sternly, dude, specially when you're HORNY from this stirring in your loins and if you have someone ....

Naughty, naughty ......

What would you expect next?

Your guess is as good as mine..

Getting "FUCKED UP" however, is actually coining a metaphor.

It explores your pent-up feelings, when somebody has done you wrong and you are left thoroughly confused, disordered or damaged.

Now this is no good.

Yeah, the world is getting to be one hell of a rotten place to live in.

Global warming, conflicts, political strife, terrorism, greed and cruelty.

Furthermore we are standing on the threshold of A WORLDWIDE RECESSION.

It's another dampener to add to our already muddled existence.

We must now learn to stay afloat amid recession in this consumer-driven industry.

But we still harbor our latent fears and can never be quite sure.

FEAR IS CHAOS,

IT ATTACKS YOU

ROOTING YOU TO THE SPOT,

IT KILLS YOU ON THE INSIDE

IT TAKES OVER THE OUT.

YOUR MIND GOES INTO CHAOS,

IT DISABLES YOUR SENSES,

YOU TRY TO SCREAM

NOTHING COMES OUT

YOU TRY TO RUN BUT YOU CAN'T,

BRAVERY FIGHTS BACK,

BUT IT DOESN'T PREVAIL,

YOU FALL INTO DARKNESS,

COWERING AT EVERY SOUND.

HELP !!! (loud and clear).

It's capital STRESS here.

Go scream your lungs out ...it's therapeutic, believe me.

LIFE CAN SOMETIMES BE PRETTY "FUCKED UP".

Right?

FANN WONG - an effervescent sparkling CHAMELEON. Always.

Naturally, like everybody else, I have heard and read "tons of gossip" about FANN WONG, the popular SINGAPOORE Media Corp belle over the years, but that's normal for any artiste to be talked about. BAD NEWS IS STILL NEWS and it's better to be a subject of controversy than not at all. Gossip garners publicity, and as long as it's not malicious, it doesn't hurt.

So it's about time I write my piece on FANN WONG as a "fitting tribute", and happily so too.

No, I do not claim to know FANN's private persona, but I had collaborated professionally with her when she was a top-notched model with the now defunct IMP MODEL AGENCY in Singapore sited at Specialist Center, Orchard Road once upon a time.

FANN WONG had a glorious modeling career in the early 90s when she was managed by IDA ONG, the affable, serious and no-nonsense owner of IMP.

We had worked on a gamut of print ads with ace fashion photographer WEE KHIM, and a slew of television commercials in 1990/1 when I was helming key fashion and high profile superstore accounts with an international Ad Agency in Singapore, and FANN was already showing great promise then as an aspiring actress.

One day, out of curiosity, I presented her with a script for a reading at the IMP's office with veteran actress CHIA PING KAI and lo and behold - FANN read the impromptu script with relish and excitement, infusing feelings in her lines. Having known her as a model, I was therefore taken aback. Models usually cannot act or read parts without the acquired training, but there was FANN, like a fish "out of water", gasping for every breath to prove her worth.

FANN was a media darling - always stoic, hardworking and on-time for her shoots with us. All the production crew loved her. She had a face that could launch a thousand ships and a spontaneous smile to "die for".

Why did I use past tense here? Because I have not been in touch with FANN WONG more than ten years as I spend most of my time in Asia, and time has really flown.

I understand from industry insiders that she was discovered by one talent scout with Singapore Media Corp in 1994 and she debuted in a well received television drama series called DREAM COMES TRUE. From then on, she morphed from the twenty something leading actress to Singapore's favourite AH JIE (supreme big sister or superstar so to speak).

In the years to follow, FANN WONG always electrifies as the glowingly beautiful damsel, and she was a hot contender to only one La Femme contender ZOE TAY who gives her a run for her money.

The only difference is that ZOE TAY has been married for some years and has two children whilst FANN is still the ultimate single girl but not-at-all available. She has screen hunk CHRISTOPHER LEE as her beau and they are tying the knots some time next year, according to grapevine news.

Are FANN and ZOE great pals? Two's company but in tinseltown it's hard to maintain heart-to-heart camaraderie with your closest rival, despite the brave front you may want to put up. Either you die or I perish, la.

Each would have her own clique of bosom buddies. Bravo.

FANN has been criticized by some die-hards to be a "phoney" or "superficial", but this one I am not sure.

But ZOE TAY is heavily lauded to be a super nice AH JIE who takes care of her friends. Many long years ago, when ZOE still owned a pet farm in PASIR RIS SINGAPORE, I dropped in to check out a chihuahua. She was there and she personally came up to me and extended a warm welcome. She needn't have to, but she took the trouble.

This is the wonderful side of ZOE, the maestro with the fashionista touch.

In the feature film arena, FANN WONG has a better standing. Producers and fans can't get enough of her. She has starred in Hollywood blockbusters with JACKIE CHAN and OWEN WILSON in SHANGHAI KNIGHTS and DANCE OF THE DRAGON with JASON SCOTT LEE.

Closer to home, she has recently scored in Singapore's most beloved slapstick director JACK NEO's JUST FOLLOW LAW and AH LONG PTE LTD. In one, she played a corporate hussy and the other, a gangster moll. Both local movies earned scathing media reviews for bad scripting, but boomed gleefully at the box office. Cheers.

FANN WONG has always been written in a heightened way and living in a heightened world, so there must be an appealing quality about her.

There's of course, the usual bad-blood rumour every now and then, but she will be a true grit survivor on this.

Life for her is a song. No less.

ACTRESSES I LOVE TO WORK WITH. Hitting 40, but still so BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS and TALENTED.

These are divas and fashionistas, hitting 40 and still look stunningly beautiful.

They are Thailand's SINJAI PLENGPANICH and Singapore's ZOE TAY, two of Asia's most talented actresses.

Some die-hards may differ in opinions, but being in the same industry, I'll vouch for them any time, man.

Bow out, armchair critics, it's easier to gripe than compliment.

Did your wife, girl friend or sister look this good when they were 40?

If so, I salute them.

But please have a sense of proportion.

Be fair.

As actresses, they may be deemed as "public properties", but hey... give praise when it's due.

In life, for all and sundry, a sincere compliment is always a morale booster.

A pat on our backs feels just great...

A stab....ouch!!

We all need love and encouragement. There's no need to build "walls" to protect ourselves.

Or should we?

SINJAI PLENGPANICH (THAILAND)

She is 43, with beauty, brain and a body to match.

She is a much revered artiste of the big screen, stage and soap operas.

She is also happily married to CHATCHAI PLENGPANICH, a famous Thai actor and has 3 children who adore her.

Because in Thailand, artistes are treated with adoration and professional respect, she has a blessed career that she immensely enjoyed.

Her latest film was LOVE OF SIAM, where she played the challenging role of a distraught mother-in-distress battling emotional "demons" brought about by a defiant gay son and an alcoholic husband.

For this difficult role, she finally bagged home the BEST ACTRESS accolade simultaneouly from 2 Thai film festivals as a glorious tribute to her accomplished acting career.

ZOE TAY (SINGAPORE)

This woman is friendly, professional and unpretentious. Having worked with her once, I should know.

She is Singapore's best known and most beautiful actress, joyously married to a RSAF pilot and blessed with 2 children.

She's really cool at 40, and she's still every inch the gorgeous belle.

Just check out the fashion spreads of her in bikini. Then ask any hot blooded male.

Yet fans in Singapore, unlike Thailand, are sometimes known to be selfish and "retarded" when it comes to according their homegrown artistes the professional respect they deserve. They are quick to criticize.

They should take a cue from Thailand.

Many derided ZOE with snide remarks when, as the spokeswoman for the IMEDEEN ad campaign, she was quoted as saying "My Secret to Beautiful Skin? I swallow."

The ad copy was intended to be naughty and provocative, but had never meant to upset a portion of the conservative market in squeaky clean Singapore.

Or was it just pure spite from a fickle audience who was ready to switch camp to another rising star?

Yet this advertisement created a "storm in a tea cup" and became the butt of sexist jokes from gossip mongers.

But ZOE TAY remains the undisputable queen from Singapore's Tinseltown for the past ten over years.

She's one established long lasting brand, chic and sophistication personified.

THESE ARE STARS that I hope to collaborate with in the near future with an appropriate script.

How about one on mid life crisis and marital angst, a la SEX AND THE CITY genre?

Can you remember the 1983 hit song I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ME sung by CHARLENE on women's rights?

Catch these lyrics:

HEY LADY,

YOU LADY,

CURSING AT YOUR LIFE,

YOU ARE A DISCONTENTED MOTHER

AND A REGIMENTED WIFE,

I'VE NO DOUBT YOU

DREAM ABOUT THE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER DO

BUT I WISH SOMEONE HAD TALKED TO ME

LIKE I WANNA TALK TO YOU.

It's a haunting and beautiful song, isn't it?

Now let's check out the script ......

THEY are BEAUTIFUL. THEY are ASIANS. LIFE's a BITCH. Well, almost.

I really dig RODGER AND HAMMERSTEIN's MOVIE MUSICALS.

Don't you?

THE SOUND OF MUSIC, FLOWER DRUM SONG, THE KING AND I and SOUTH PACIFIC are some of the magnificent films that I can watch over and over again.

These are classics, timeless gems.

THERE'S this BEACHY song in SOUTH PACIFIC extolling the wonderment of a woman.

It is called THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A DAME.

The lyrics run like this:

We've got sunlight on the sand,

We've got moonlight on the sea,

We've got mangos and bananas you can pick right off the tree,

We've got volley ball and ping pong and a lot of dandy games,

What don't we got?

WE DON'T GOT DAMES.

Chorus

There's nothing like a DAME

Nothing in the world

There's nothing you can name

that is anything like a DAME.

Can you imagine life without a woman?

MIGUEL RODRIGUEZ sums it all up when he says:

" I LIKE TO SEE YOU WALK

BECAUSE YOU LEAVE STREAKS OF FIRE WITH YOUR EVERY STEP,

YOU ARE MUCH MORE THAN AN OBJECT OF DESIRE,

YOU ARE THE FLAME THAT SLOWLY KEEPS ALIVE MY FIRE.

I LIKE TO LOOK AT YOU

OBSERVING YOUR EVERY DETAIL,

YOUR FEELINGS ARE SO PURE, SO FRAIL."

This article pays homage to our ASIAN BEAUTIES.

ASIAN WOMEN are soft, trilling and enticing, don't you think so?

GASP ...... YES!

BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. SEXY ACTRESSES. Smart Maneuvers.

The famous line-up above is pretty stark here. Top most (from left to right) are SHU QI, TANG WEI and VIVIAN HSU.

Right below, pretty-in-pink, is sultry PAI LING.

These are Asian beautiful women with immense sex appeal, whether you care to admit this or not. They grace myriads of magazine covers and are also renowned screen actresses, with million of dollars stashed in their bank accounts for the advertising product endorsements they gave.

Paparazzi will camp outside their residences to get latest bits of information about their lifestyles and then "juice" it up to enhance magazine sales.

There you are, it pays to be famous despite your loss of so-called privacy, as fame comes alongside recognition and that fat dollar bottom line !

Which other job can bestow you with such enriching perks ...... to be rich, successful and famous? Indeed, life is never fair. Some people toil for donkey years to earn what these stars can fetch in a single day.

All the above actresses got their big breaks from Asian supposedly soft porns and they are smart enough to ride on "this calculated break" as part of a strategic direction they set their minds on. They are endowed with looks, bodies and and "brains to match". They are definitely nobody's fools and sometimes in this filmsy world of show business, artistry "sacrifices" in choice of film roles and proper planning are key ingredients to a successful entertainment career.

CONNECTIONS are all that important and taking short cuts to garner media attention is better than than waiting for years for a plum role to land on one's lap !

It is a clear cut fact why some artistes fail miserably in this endeavour. Even before fame really beckons, they are adopting "attitude" tantrums. Get real, falsies ! Learn from the veterans as you are a product of the media machine, whatever the media make you out to be. The media can either make or kill you.

Just take note that every other day, a new star is born and another competitor is already in the pipeline. A square example is ZHANG ZI YI. She was the media's overexposed darling until director ANG LI groomed new starlet TANG WEI for his latest film LUST CAUTION.

For any artiste, established or aspiring, it pays not to adopt the media offensive stance.

SHOW BUSINESS can be quite a sleazy business, and sometimes things that you may have read or been told may be a little too close for comfort. But not necessarily untrue.

Because as you know, there's no business like show business. Neither is there any fire without smoke.