I'LL CATCH A RAINBOW FOR YOU, MY LOVE.

If I could catch a rainbow

I would do it just for you.

And share with you its beauty

On days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain

We could call it our very own.

A place of devine serenity

A place we can be alone.

If I could absorb your troubles

I would toss them into the deep sea.

But all these things I am trying

are unattainable for me,

No, I cannot build a mountain

Or catch a rainbow afar ....

But let me be...what I know best,

a friend who'll always be there.

And have faith that

our love will transcend the test of time.

The BIRDS and the BEES. The ART of SEX versus SUPPRESSIONS.

RELAX, man.

I am crossing sensitive boundary again with this designed-for-adult-only-RESTRICTED ZONE.

The subject is SEX, ZEN and their implications.

My target audience is celebrities, film makers and ad people who know how to appreciate the finer things in life, besides wealth.

I am not here to titillate anybody or to pique controversy.

It's either a matter of good taste, bad taste or art's taste.

To each his own.

It's something we all know, yet nonetheless is food-for-thought here.

And if any nice person is offended by my content and pictures here, please write to me and I will gladly oblige to delete all and sundry here.

Blogspot admin guys also, please take note.

Because I know that the pictorial will surely make your heart skip a beat if you do not allow religious beliefs to cloud your judgement here.

Often, I like to sip my tea and let my thoughts take flight.

I had recently finished re-reading a naughty 1928 book LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER by D.H.LAWRENCE that was banned once upon a time for its explicitness in sexual content.

It explores unbridled sex and sexuality during the Victorian days, and it was deemed a bold approach to what was strictly taboo then - sexual intercourse in novels.

A genre like LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER would be deemed "tame" these days.

We move on with the times and technology. Somehow things change.

SEX is food for our souls.

Even the celebrities and world leaders are at it. Pretty normal these days, huh.

Yet, when it comes to the topic of THE BIRDS and the BEES, how far can we go?

For sure, the birds chirp merrily and the bees buzz happily.

And when we undrape the human form, is it obscenity when it comes to exposing the full genitalia?

GOD has created genitalia for the genders.

What is Art? And what is not when it comes to SEX?

How do we play by the rules?

SEX is metaphorized as the BIRDS and the BEES.

BIRDS are like men with penises.

BEES are like women with vaginas.

MEN impregnate eggs.

WOMEN give birth.

SEX is therefore the key for survival of both.

"Let's do it ! Let's fall in love !"

For virgins, SEX should be performed rightfully with the one you love.

In ASIA, our values tend to be more traditional than our Western counterparts where SEX is observed as a rite to be consummated after marriage. Yet again, with the advent of the internet and art house films, morals change.

There's often a lot of pressure to lose one's virginity, that is, having sexual intercourse for the first time.

So let's say that daddy and mummy get married, have sex, live happily ever after and propagate the family tree.

Therefore, the proper SEX exists for:

MARITAL PLEASURE (every normal being is at it),

UNITY (the intimate fusion of two naked bodies bound in physical and spiritual love) and

PROCREATION (the man "deposits" his sperms inside the female during sexual intercourse, and it will take 9 months for the "peach blossom" to bloom).

Other than these?

Go guess - but just don't come up with something ridiculous, OK?

Now take a breather and enjoy a comedic banter with famous stand-up comedian CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN on his satire 'THE BIRDS AND THE BEES".

Loosen up, folks !!

SEX and SIN? "Look ... I am MAN. Hear me SNARL!"

Pssst! Do you know that .....

ON A CLEAR DAY YOU CAN SEE FOREVER?

Simply smashing, this hit song from BARBRA STREISAND about the simplicity of life.

She might well be right.

Clarity is defining, but what happens when one's life takes a treacherous turn and mirrors a thousand dampeners instead?

On grey days, against grey skies, when you're really feeling like a ton of shit,

And the stress is piling up in your head,

Hot raucous jokes would surely dispel the gloom and hit you guys like aphrodisiac,

Great?

Well, if it's all about SEX and SIN, then it's much ado about everything!

All MEN enjoy bawdy jokes,

They love sexy time,

They love to fornicate .....

Secretly they love to surf porn and sleaze.

Anything that can heighten esctatic pleasures or stimulate loins,

They like to brag about their physical endowments,

Brutes? NO ...

Men ....YES!

You'd hear, "I AM MAN. Here ... see me SNARL!"

Right on, let's get straight to the topic with these guilt-laden goodness.

Here're some of the tempting dessert treats with all the heavenly drools.

Yumm ......

1. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORAL SEX AND ANAL SEX?

A. Oral sex makes your day, and anal sex makes your hole weak.

2. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BITCH AND A WHORE?

A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

3. WHAT MAKES MEN CHASE WOMEN THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF MARRYING?

A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

4. WHAT DO YOU CALL A SMART BLONDE?

A. A golden retriever.

5. HOW CAN YOU TELL WHICH IS THE HEAD NURSE?

A. The one with the dirty knees.

6. WHICH SEXUAL POSITIONS PRODUCES THE UGLIEST CHILDREN?

A. Ask your mother.

7. HOW DO YOU EMBARRASS AN ARCHAEOLOGIST?

A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

8. WHAT DID THE CANNIBAL DO AFTER HE DUMPED HIS GIRL FRIEND?

A. Wiped his ass.

9. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LAY ON THEIR BACKS?

A. Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor-lock.

10. THE THREE WORDS MOST HATED BY MEN DURING SEX?

A. "Are you in?" or "Is it in?"

11. THREE WORDS WOMEN HATE TO HEAR WHEN HAVING SEX?

A. "Honey, I'm home!"

12. WHY DO MEN TAKE SHOWERS INSTEAD OF BATHS?

A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

WOMEN have their scores too.

They love SEX as much as MEN.

Yet, unlike MEN, this is something they are not supposed to admit in public society.

Guys are guys.

They are the dominant gender proud of their sexual conquests.

SEX and SIN?

"Look ..... I am MAN. Hear me SNARL!"

I am sure, somewhere out there, a WOMAN is snorting with her disapproval.

WAR OF THE GENDERS?

Now be mesmerized by Philippine most famous female vocalist REGINE VELASQUEZ as she belts out her version of the classic hit song "I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME" extolling the anguish of a modern day woman. That was then, but time changed everything since. The world don't just stand still.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9ku2oljKjg]

" WHAT'S UP, PUSSY CAT? " SEX? I am WOMAN. Hear me PURR ...."

ARE YOU A MALE CHAVENIST?

Do you subscribe to the belief that WOMEN ARE SUBSERVIENT TO MEN?

TIMES have evolved

THINGS have changed.

A woman's self-worth is as important as a man's,

Her bark can be worse than her bite -

Check this out.

These days WOMEN are jolly good if not better ..

Bless their demand for equal rights ...

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.

" I AM WOMAN ...HEAR ME ROAR! "

Ahhh .....

Here's this SEXIST JOKE ..

And this one is from the WOMAN :

MARCUS woke up one morning with this huge uncontrollable erection.

He was hard and horny, and his wife was not by his side in bed.

She was already up and in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

MARCUS was "itching" all over with extreme desire.

So he despatched his son to his wife with this note:

MY TENT POLE IS UP,

THE CANVAS IS SPREAD,

TO HELL WITH BREAKFAST,

NOW COME BACK TO BED!

The wife answered the note and sent it back by the son. This is what it said:

TAKE YOUR TENT POLE DOWN,

PUT THE CANVAS AWAY,

THE MONKEY IS BLEEDING TODAY, ARHH ....

SO NO CIRCUS TODAY!

MARCUS was perplexed with his hard-on, so he sent another note:

BUT THIS TENT POLE IS STILL UP,

AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREADS,

SO DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING,

HONEY - COME AND GIVE ME SOME HEAD!

To which the wife replied:

I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE

IS THE BEST IN THE LAND,

BUT I'M TOO BUSY RIGHT NOW -

SO DO IT BY HAND !!

So you want a sexy time?

Understand the woman better.

Ignorance isn't all bliss.

WOMEN CAN BE CHERRIES THAT CAN MAKE LEMONS TASTE SWEET.

That is, if you know where to set the parameters,

And what to do to stay under the radar .....

DO YOU, HONESTLY?