TALKing CRAP and TAKing CRAP in SINGAPORE TV DRAMAS. Air Freshener, Anyone?

Buckle up, folks.

I beseech you to read this with a can of air freshener around.

You might well need to deodorize the air.

It's all about CRAP, courtesy of the SINGAPORE DRAMA SERIES.

Stinky affair, this one, besides - we have to go "anal" ....

Yah, my dogs poo, just like all living animals.

It's a part of living, right?

When we were barely in our teens, we learnt that each and every human being .... ugly or so beautiful

live, feed, breathe, excrete, reproduce and die.

That's what the toilet bowl is for.

Then we grew up and when we discovered the wonders of one-plus-one-is-two ....

logic became elementary, and a lot things just happened to be just plain common sense.

After all, some things need not be taught ....

just like masturbation,

Like what goes up must come down ...

Isn't this gravitational pull?

What goes inside your body must come out also...

Imagine yourself gorging in all those glorious foods - three meals per day ..

Where does all the delicious grubs go to?

Into the mouth and out of the anus ...

Argghh ..

As simple as any no-brainer can tell you,

SHIT, man!

You don't shit, you DIE ...

And this ruling definitely applies to all superheroes, supermodels and all gorgeous pies.

Otherwise you'll be carrying this bloated tummy full of gas and toxic waste liken to a clogged sewage pipe ...

Smelling sweet, folks!

Now take a cue from this popular SINGAPORE MEDIA CORP Blockbuster drama series "Housewives' Holidays".

You are treated to generous helpings of raucous jokes pertaining the bodily functions, excretions such as shit, fart and pee aplenty.

Here's one nauseating scene from the " HOUSEWIVES' HOLIDAYS " drama:

Three middle-aged plain janes XIANG YUN, ANN KOK and HONG HUI FANG gleefully participated in a PILATES class for women.

They were cajoled by the instructor to tuck in their tummies, bend over with legs outstretched.

Guess what?

There was a farting noise emitted by actress HONG HUI FANG who looked non-plussed.

Her two friends displayed disdain by the stench.

Not only that, she split her pants and rushed for the toilet.

Before she could even reach her destination, she lost bowel control and promptly shat in her exercise attire.

More! She promptly washed her soiled undies, displayed it to her chums and merrily announced that she was going to re-use it.

Would this incite laughter or disgust?

It's a two-way prong, depending on which side of the target audience you are on.

To the Singapore heartlanders, this kind of gag is absolutely hilarious!

After all, the intended core audience comprises the aunties, uncles, grannies, grandpas and kids, mostly.

Corporate heels would frown on this kind of spoof.

One young Singapore professional swore to me that he'd never watch made-in-Singapore dramas as they are mostly "brainless" and "full of crap".

I wonder that, if he did not watch, then how could he know?

Is he voicing the opinions of the disdainful minority segment - the yuppies and chuppies who prefer the "classier" foreign acts?

Actress HONG HUI FANG earned our respect for her realistic portrayal of a stingy and fussy housewife who had to stoop to demeaning acts, as demanded by the series' producers/directors.

Being the consummate professional as she is, she took the job in one stride, without complaints.

If she does not bag the coveted BEST ACTRESS AWARD this year, then her efforts would be in vain as we cannot think of a more deserving artiste.

VIVA, MISS HONG!

Would be nice, for a change, to watch FELICIA CHIN, JOANNE PEH or JEANETTE AW "taking dumps" in Singapore dramas, since the station is awfully good in producing genre of this kind.

And there are also other notable "SHIT" dramas as my producer friends asserted

citing "JUST IN SINGAPORE" and "THE SHINING STAR" as other examples.

In "JUST IN SINGAPORE", people mayhem abound when a priceless ancient tub, filled with human excreta, was wheeled around the corridors of a HDB apartment building to distract thieves.

And in THE SHINING STAR, even a cute little girl was nonchalantly mimicking farting "sounds" in various scenes,

whilst another limp character played by actor HUANG SHI NAN was regularly reading the girlie magazines whilst crapping.

More .... but we rather end here for a breather.

Too much of any good thing kills, for sure.

Maybe the regular scriptwriters are constipated in terms of comedic ideas?

We may never know but one thing's for sure.

SINGAPORE is renowned for producing "CRAPPY" dramas such as these.

Little wonder that "swear" words such as SHIT and ASSHOLES are immensely popular,

With the TV station and the various media propagating to the mass family audience

what would you expect?

Notwithstanding the good ratings too!

Meanwhile, would someone be kind enough

to pass the air freshener, please?